Mama is trying to kill me!!!

I've convinced this woman is trying to kill me. I thought it was bad when she started sucking my brains outta my nose, but now she opts for poison!

Then she tries to win back my trust...

... but did you notice the bait and switch in the middle?! She can't possibly think I wouldn't notice the flavor difference... all I can think of is she's either trying to prove which one of us is the boss or she's toying with me for her own amusement. So what happened next?

That's right. This woman, previously known as "Mama", tortured me for her own amusement. But don't you worry... I'm going to get her back. I'm going to randomly scream for no reason the next time she takes me in public. I'm going to let the world know that she tortures me for fun. And nothing she does will calm me down, but I'll calm down if anyone else, anyone at all, tries to soothe me in any way. Then she'll know she can be replaced. And once she realizes that, the rest of those green beans are as good as gone.

Mess with the bull you get the horns!